A Collection of Common Nonsense Two
by KingofJesters
Summary: Collection of Common Nonsense: Courage Doesn't Have To Roar. Another collection of one-shots concerning the gang, now a year older, and dealing with more crazy shenanigans. Anyone attempting to locate a plot will be shot. Enjoy!
1. Starting Again

_A/N: Well, I couldn't help it. I had too many ideas to just let them sit, so here's another awesome collection of one-shots. There'll be about twenty, like last time, and it'll kind of pick up where the last collection left off. Candace will be in college, so there might be some Candace/Jeremy fluff, and Phineas and Ferb will be in middle school with their friends, so lots of possibilities of madness there. Yep. Oh, and more Perry and Doof frenemy stuff, because I find it hilarious. _

_So, enjoy this first one, and leave some reviews would you please? :D _

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Phineas and Ferb. I'm just playing in their true owners' backyard beach.  
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**A Collection of Common Nonsense: Courage Doesn't Have To Roar**

_**A Collection of One-Shots by KingofJesters**_

Starting Again

This was it. Candace stared up at the university building that she would be spending the next four years at, and gulped. She had been so excited to start college and get out of the house and start her own life, but now that she was here, she was just downright nervous. She wasn't ready to leave her home, she still felt like a child! What was she going to do…?

"Hey, Candace!" a voice exclaimed from behind her. Candace turned around slowly, and was surprised (and pleasantly relieved) to see Jeremy standing behind her holding her suitcase, with her family trailing somewhat behind him. Candace smiled and ran to him.

"Jeremy!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a peck on the cheek. "What are you doing here? I thought your semester started a week ago!"

Jeremy shrugged and smiled down at her. "I took the day off to get you settled," he said. "I mean, what if you meet this other guy at this school or something and fall for _him_? I had to be completely sure." He smirked at her.

Candace rolled her eyes. "Oh, Jeremy," she giggled. "Like that would ever happen."

Jeremy looked down at her, all joking aside. "That's what I wanted to hear," he said quietly. Candace blushed and stared into his eyes, leaning closer.

"Candace!" called Phineas from behind the couple, causing them to jump away, blushing madly. As Phineas walked up to them, he continued to babble on and on about nothing in particular. "Hey, Candace, check this out! There's this huge statue over there and Ferb thinks that it was built-"

Candace tuned out her little brother's chatter and smiled at Jeremy mouthing _little siblings _and rolling her eyes again. He grinned back and held out his free hand. Candace smiled wider and took it.

And somehow she knew that everything would work itself out.


	2. Friendships Are Blossoming

_A/N: I couldn't help it. (I seem to say that a lot…) I love Ferb/Vanessa in the show, but I just think that Ferb/Gretchen is so cute! :) So, no flames please, all you die-hard Ferbessa fans, this will probably be the only one-shot featuring the implied pairing…I think. _

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you guys seem to like this crazy attempt at a "sequel." Enjoy this next one! _

Friendships Are Blossoming

Phineas was sick that day, so Ferb got on the bus to school alone. After occupying an empty seat, he looked around for any of his friends. He could see Isabella a few rows back talking to Adyson, and Buford and Baljeet sitting in the very back, arguing over some trivial thing or other. Ferb sighed and took out his favorite book, _The Odyssey_, as the bus stopped again to let on more kids.

"Hey Ferb," said a small voice. Ferb looked up to see Gretchen, a Fireside girl he had never really gotten to know very well, standing next to his seat. "Mind if I sit down?"

Ferb shook his head, and Gretchen took the empty seat as the bus began moving again. Ferb began to put his book away so he didn't look rude, but Gretchen said, "Oh, you don't have to stop reading, I was just going to read myself." She held up her own book and Ferb glanced at the cover. She was holding a copy of _The Iliad_, nearly causing Ferb's jaw to drop in surprise before he quickly composed himself. He thought _he_ was the only one to read ancient Greek literature in his group of friends!

Gretchen smiled at him. "What're you reading?"

Ferb held up his book, and Gretchen gasped in surprise. "I thought I was the only one to read ancient Greek literature in my group of friends! Do you like it? Which is your favorite, _The Odyssey_ or _The Iliad_?"

"Well, I-" he began, but was cut off by Isabella's voice from the back of the bus.

"Gretchen! Come here, I need to tell you something!" the girl cried, before collapsing into giggles with Adyson. Gretchen rolled her eyes.

"I'd better make sure they're not going to choke on themselves," she said, chuckling a little. As the bus pulled up to another stop, Gretchen stood up and started to make her way to back of the bus. "I'll talk to you later, Ferb!"

Ferb nodded in her direction and went back to his book. As he picked up where he left off, he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face and the unbidden thought, _Yes, yes you will._


	3. Surprise!

_A/N: And now we see PERRY! *applauds* Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time! I know it's kind of a controversial pairing in this fandom, so I hope I didn't drive anyone away with it… Oh well. Enjoy this next one! _

Surprise!

"Ah, there you are, Agent P," said Major Monogram, as Perry landed smoothly in his chair. Perry just glared. The Major had summoned him at a very bad moment—while he was taking his Saturday mid-morning nap—and he really didn't want to have to deal with anyone right now, especially not Doofenshmirtz. However, when he saw Monogram clear his throat awkwardly, and refuse to make eye-contact, he immediately snapped out of his bad mood and to attention. His first thought: _Did he figure out that Phineas and Ferb know…?_

"Well, uh, Agent P," stammered Monogram. "I'm not really sure how to put this…"

Suddenly Carl burst out from behind the camera, "Doofenshmirtz knows where you live!"

Perry froze in shock. No. He couldn't know, Perry had worked extra hard to make sure he didn't know. _How could this have happened?_

He didn't even wait for Monogram or Carl to give him more information; he immediately bolted out of his lair and back upstairs to check on his family.

* * *

><p>Phineas noticed him first. He usually tried to keep Perry's disappearances as normal as possible; he simply exchanged knowing glances with Ferb every time he said the words, "Hey, where's Perry?"<p>

But Perry hadn't ever come back in the morning before. And certainly not with an expression of concern and, more importantly, _fear _on his face. Phineas hadn't seen Perry fearful since the Second Dimension fiasco, and to see him like that now was disturbing to say the least. So disturbing, in fact, that he excused himself to "go to the bathroom" in order to talk with his pet in the study.

"What's wrong, boy?" he asked, petting Perry's head. "What did Dr. D do this time?"

Perry shook his head, chattering slowly. He didn't want Phineas to worry about what might happen. No, it was better to keep the information to himself.

"Oh, Monogram gave you the day off, huh?" said Phineas, misinterpreting his pet's hesitation. "Well, that's cool. Do you want to hang out with me and Ferb then?"

Perry shook his head again, pretending to yawn, and offering Phineas and apologetic look. Phineas smiled.

"Aw, it's alright buddy, you've been working hard all week." He ruffled Perry's fur. "Have a good nap."

As he exited the room, Perry gave a sigh of relief and stood up. Placing his trusty fedora on his head, he put on his determined face. Time to get to work.


	4. Psych!

_A/N: Sorry to leave ya'll on a cliff hanger like that, since the entire situation really isn't that big of a plot point. Heck, none of these are really important, hence the title. The first part, not the second part. The second part actually _will_ have a plot point, but not for a while. _

_Anyways, enjoy this next one-shot! It should wrap up the last cliff-hanger nicely. _

Psych!

Perry lay down in his pet bed, placed with a strategic view of the front door, one eye open. He highly doubted that Doofenshmirtz would try anything but the direct approach, and that's what he was counting on. He really had no idea what the scientist had in mind, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

But, at the moment, there was nothing he could without alerting Phineas and Ferb to the situation. So all he could do was _wait_.

* * *

><p>Perry was jolted awake by the sound of a doorbell ringing, and stood up (still in pet mode), alarmed. Glancing around he saw that the house looked empty, and the sun had begun the process of setting. Standing up and placing his signature fedora on his head, he slowly crept towards the front door.<p>

The door bell rang again. Perry quickly switched to pet mode as Linda came down the stairs, rubbing her eyes from her own nap.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she called irritably. Perry tensed and prepared himself to spring into action upon any sighting of Doofenshmirtz. But, when Linda opened the door, there was nobody there, except for the faint sound of cackling.

Linda looked both ways before shutting the door muttering, "Dang ding-dong-ditchers."

Perry breathed a sigh of relief, and rolled his eyes. Although he couldn't actually know for sure that the ding-dong-ditcher was in fact Doofenshmirtz, he had a pretty good idea that it probably was. It just seemed like something a goofy guy like Doofenshmirtz would pull on his best enemy.

He walked back over (still in pet mode) to his pet bed and lay down again. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep, having no doubt in his mind that his nemesis would most likely bring this up tomorrow.

He allowed himself a chuckled before shutting his eyes and completely losing himself in much-deserved rest.


	5. Movie Night

_A/N: Well, it's time to see more Perry and Candace friendship fluff! In the last collection, I alluded (ooh, fancy word!) that Perry likes to watch chic flicks, so it wasn't a far jump to having Candace and Perry watch some together. In this one they're watching a fantastic movie called _Somewhere in Time. _I don't want to spoil the movie, since it's so good, but I highly recommend it. It's one of the only movies I actually sobbed over. It's also the perfect movie to watch with popcorn and ice cream, that's for sure! _

_But, yeah, this one makes no sense whatsoever, and yet I enjoy it. I hope you do too!  
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_Oh, and I didn't say this yesterday, but Happy Halloween! :D _

Movie Night

Candace and Perry stayed glued to the TV. Without taking their eyes away from the screen, they continued to shovel handfuls of popcorn into their mouths while their tears threatened to spill over. At one point, Perry chattered softly, only to have Candace shush him.

"Quiet, this is the good part!" she exclaimed in a whisper.

The entire house was dark except for the flickering lights coming from the television, and silent except for the dramatic music, hushed dialogue, and the crunch of popcorn. Candace was home for the weekend, and was catching up on her TV time, since the one at the college was just that; _one_. Since the TV was always taken up by other people, this was the only time that Candace could watch anything that she wanted.

And she wanted to watch _Somewhere in Time_, one of her _favoritest_ romance movies in the world. Since discovering Perry's secret love of romance movies last summer, they had been slowly going through all the ones in Candace's collection together. This movie was one of the last that Candace owned that Perry hadn't seen, and so far it was one of his favorites.

The movie was drawing to a close. Perry's eyes widened and filled with tears at the conclusion, and they both had to reach for tissues at the end. Finally, the movie was turned off, and Candace and Perry just sat on the couch in the dark and cried.

Perry made a strange noise that was a cross between a hiccup and his typical chatter. Candace laughed.

"Aw, Perry," she said, grabbing the platypus into a side hug. "I'm glad you liked it, though."

Perry smiled and blew his beak with his tissue.

Candace released Perry and stood up. Stretching her arms high above her head, she gave a massive yawn. She glanced at the clock and let out a low whistle. "Man, Perry, it's three in the morning!" she exclaimed in a whisper. "I haven't been up this late in a while." Flicking on the hallway light, she started to head upstairs to her old room. Then she paused and turned back to face Perry. "Hey," she said as Perry stood up to head upstairs as well. "Thanks for watching that movie with me. It was fun."

Perry shrugged and chattered quietly, smiling a little. Candace ruffled his fur. "Come on, then," she said. "Let's get some sleep. We've both got an early morning tomorrow."

Perry gave her an exasperated look as if to say, _don't I know it, _and then joined Candace on the stairs to head up to bed.


	6. Annoyance

_A/N: I can just picture this scene, with Phineas all irritated at Doofenshmirtz. It makes me laugh. _

Annoyance

Phineas groaned after the second ring of the doorbell that morning. Turning to Perry, who was lying on Ferb's bed, he said, "Can't you tell your nemesis to quit ringing the doorbell? It's reached _that_ _point_."

Perry shrugged. As much as he'd like to tell Doofenshmirtz off, he really couldn't without making it worse. He figured that eventually the doctor would get tired of his little prank and give up.

But, then again, this was _Doofenshmirtz_ he was talking about.

Perry chattered in annoyance as the doorbell was rung again and maniacal cackling was heard outside. Phineas and Perry rolled their eyes.

This might be a long year.


	7. Maybe

_A/N: Oh, my, goodness; it's been quite a long time since I've updated, hasn't it? I apologize; between senior stuff and school and the musical (that just finished, thank goodness) and my birthday, it's just been a complete mess trying to get anything productive done! I'll try not to leave it too long next time…I hope. Anyways, enjoy this next little one-shot, even if it is short. It takes place during the school year (which I think I already told you guys, but I'm going to remind you anyways) and contains hints of Ferb/Gretchen. Don't kill me hardcore Ferbessa fans._

_That is all. Enjoy! _

Maybe

"Hey Ferb!" cried an extremely cheerful and familiar voice. Ferb, who had been working on his homework at the kitchen table in silence, looked up only to see Isabella standing next to him. He raised one eyebrow.

"I believe Phineas is upstairs, if you were wondering," he said simply, turning back to his school work.

Isabella shook her head. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, Ferb," she said, rocking back and forth on her heels innocently.

Ferb looked up suddenly, and couldn't help the look of surprise that passed across his usually stoic features. Isabella had never really sought out Ferb for a conversation before; the only time they had sort-of had a conversation had been last summer, on that small island, when Isabella had been crying because Phineas hadn't been paying attention to her. Now, Isabella was seeking him out? What on earth was going on?

"See," said Isabella, ignoring the incredulous look Ferb was giving her. "I was just wondering if you liked anybody, you know, in particular. Like, _like-like_ someone."

Oh. That was it. Ferb subtly rolled his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

Isabella immediately backtracked. "Oh, no reason, I just thought I'd ask…for a friend." She smiled in a way that she probably thought was mysterious and turned to leave.

Ferb rolled his eyes fully now that Isabella couldn't see him. He knew full well what friend Isabella was talking about. And he also knew that Gretchen for sure didn't like him in the way that Isabella liked Phineas or in the way that his sister liked Jeremy.

However, he wasn't opposed to the idea of him and Gretchen…but not right now. Maybe later, when they were older perhaps. Maybe later, when he wasn't fawning over a girl who was much, much older than him.

Yes, maybe. There was a lot of promise in maybe.

"Isabella," he said, making Isabella stop and pause in the doorway. He smiled at her. "Maybe."


	8. Best Frenemies

_A/N: Sorry about the wait everyone, but I've been super, super busy and haven't been able to update in quite a long time. Lame excuse I know, but it's the best I could come up with. _

_This one kind of branches away from the Flynn-Fletcher family for the moment, and deals with a couple of the other characters whose relationship amuses me. _

_So, I'll stop making excuses for myself and just let you enjoy this, won't I?_

Best Frenemies

Baljeet didn't think he'd ever fully understand why he and Buford were friends. Or, frenemies, as it were. Buford had been bullying Baljeet for so long, that Baljeet simply saw it as a part of life for him now and honestly couldn't picture his life any differently.

When he had saved Buford life that one summer, invoking the "Bully code," he had almost missed the old Buford. Of course, he was annoyed when Buford went back to his bullying ways at the end of the day, but at the same time he was almost relieved. Baljeet, like so many other people, was afraid of change in his life.

It was only after the recent shenanigans that Baljeet actually realized what exactly him and Buford's relationship was.

They're best frenemies, and they'll stick together to the end.

* * *

><p>Buford never questioned him and Baljeet's relationship. He was the bully, Baljeet was the nerd. He picked on Baljeet, Baljeet flimsily tried to defend himself. He annoyed Baljeet, Baljeet subtly put up with it.<p>

What he never really thought about was how much he cared for Baljeet like an overprotective big brother.

After all, they were best frenemies, and they'll stick together to the end.


	9. Christmas Lights

_A/N: Well, this one-shot is completely filled to the brim with cheese. However, this is Christmas, a time where it is nearly impossible to write or say anything that doesn't have an element of cheese in it. _

_And so, enjoy my little contribution to the holiday, and have yourself a merry little Christmas._

Christmas Lights

"Check it out, Perry!" exclaimed Phineas, holding his pet up to the frosty window. "Look at all the snow!"

Perry chattered in response, his breath fogging up the window slightly. Phineas laughed.

"And it's still coming down, too," said Candace from behind them. She was wearing her comfortable oversized sweater and was sipping her coffee contently. With her free hand, she ruffled first Phineas' hair then Perry's fur in amusement. "In pet mode today, huh?" she whispered to Perry.

Perry nodded. With all the family around all the time, it was simply too risky to jump back and forth between personas. Not to mention exhausting.

Candace smiled at the two before heading back into the kitchen to help her Mom and Grandma Betty prepare the family's Christmas Eve dinner. As her senses were hit by the delicious smell of ham cooking in the oven, her smile grew wider. _Man,_ she thought,_ it's good to be back at home for the holidays._

* * *

><p>Ferb sat contentedly in the cold snow on the roof above his bedroom, marveling at the apparent softness of the frozen water. He enjoyed how quiet the snow made everything seem, how the world seemed completely muffled by the stuff. He felt that he could sit up here for hours and watch the flakes drift down to the earth.<p>

However, this was Christmas Eve and he didn't have a coat, so it probably wasn't the best idea at the moment.

Standing up on his roof he carefully started the precarious climb back into his bedroom. But just as he was about to enter his window he paused and took one last long look over the neighborhood.

Nearly every house was decorated in Christmas lights. The house across the street wasn't decorated as much as the others, but Ferb knew that the Garcia-Shapiro's celebrated Hanukkah instead, so that was to be expected. But the other houses were decked out in Christmas lights in various holiday colors and lit mechanical reindeer and giant Santa blow-up figures (he and Phineas had gotten a good laugh out of those, since they knew what the real Santa looked like because of their escapade last year).

Ferb glanced down at his family's red and green Christmas lights and smiled at the memories that they brought to mind. It had just been him and his Dad who had put them up that year, and it had been a great time for the both of them. Lawrence was by now understanding of his son's lack of audible conversation, so they had had a comfortable time just sitting up on the roof, only exchanging occasional words from time to time that related to the job at hand. To Ferb, it had meant a great deal, since it was rare that he got to spend time one-on-one with his father. And to Lawrence, it meant the world, since he saw so little of his oldest son during the rest of the year.

Ferb took one last look at the twinkling Christmas lights, then leaped back into his room and shut the window behind him. Dusting the snow off of his arms, legs, and head he quickly exited the room to join his family downstairs for their annual Christmas Eve celebrations.

* * *

><p>That night, after dinner was devoured and Christmas Eve gifts were exchanged: after the annual watching of <em>It's a Wonderful Life<em> and putting up with the women shedding tears over the classic happy ending (Perry as well, though he wouldn't admit it to Candace later): and as the two boys lay curled up in their beds, Perry couldn't help but smile at their sleeping forms. _This year has got to be the best yet,_ he thought to himself. Never in a million years did he expect to find himself in the home of such wonderful owners, partners, and friends. And to have them know his secret, and to not have to answer to any ramifications at the agency, was literally a dream come true. He honestly couldn't ask for anything for the coming year, since everything he had ever wanted in his life had already come true.

Glancing out the boys' window, he caught a glimpse of the Christmas lights that framed the Flynn-Fletcher home. Looking further into the night he could see, burning brighter than all the others, a star twinkling in the night sky. He smiled.

_Thank you,_ he thought, _and Merry Christmas._

And with a contented smile, the platypus drifted off to sleep.


	10. Peppermint Winter

_A/N: I'm back! Sorry for the long absence, school and college prep and theater and all sorts of other things got in the way. That's really not an excuse, especially since I've had this saved on my computer for a long time (since Christmas really), so I apologize. Anyways, enjoy this one-shot and expect more from me soon! _

Peppermint Winter

"Race ya to the top!" Jeremy called back to his girlfriend, laughing. He grabbed his tiny disc-like sleigh and started racing up the steep hill, running as fast as he could through all the snow. He could hear Candace coming up behind him, gathering speed until he could hear the crunch of snow directly behind him. Then, she passed him up, laughing at his red and sweaty face.

"Betcha can't beat me down!" she cried as she reached the top, Jeremy only a foot behind her. Without pausing to wait for her boyfriend, she flung herself on her sleigh, racing down the hill towards her unsuspecting brothers.

Phineas and Ferb were both preoccupied at the moment, as they were attempting to build a snowman even bigger than last year's. However, they had just barely started when their sister came barreling towards them on her sleigh, scooping them up as she whizzed by, and effectively destroying what they had accomplished on their snowman.

But the boys didn't mind the unexpected sleigh ride, and so the three of them were laughing as they skidded to a halt a good ten feet from the bottom of the hill.

By the time Jeremy had caught up to the Flynn-Fletcher siblings, the worried look on his face melted into a warm smile at their laughter. "Hey, are you guys alright?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Candace nodded, still laughing, as she helped her brothers untangle themselves and stand up. "Sorry about your snowman," she said as soon as she regained control of her voice.

Phineas laughed and Ferb shrugged. "It's alright, Candace," Phineas said, still laughing slightly.

"It was simply a prototype anyways," added Ferb calmly.

Candace eyed her brothers suspiciously. "Prototype for what?"

"The biggest snowman in the world!" cried Phineas. "It's gonna be awesome!" He grinned at his big sister. "Wanna help?"

Jeremy glanced at his girlfriend with a small smile on his face, wondering what she might say this time. She was so unpredictable when it came to her brothers this year with her being at college most of the time.

So, when Candace exclaimed, "Sure!" in a cheerful voice, Jeremy smiled at her. Candace smiled back and winked. "I'll get 'em this time," she whispered to him. "If I'm around the whole time, then there's no way it can disappear before Mom sees it!"

Jeremy chuckled as his girlfriend ran off to join her brothers, and said to himself, "That's my girl."


End file.
